I Hate Seagulls
by elmjuniper
Summary: Leliana teaches Sinniralin a new game. Sinniralin/Leliana FEMSLASH.


**DISCLAIMER:** BioWare owns everything you recognize, names, places, objects etc. I'm merely a fan with way too much time on my hands. :) Everything you don't recognize is a figment of my imagination. :) And Sinniralin is mine. She's mine, all mine! ^^ lol

**A.N: **A small piece I felt inspired to write whilst listening to my favourite singer Kate Nash's latest album _**My Best Friend Is You. **_

This piece is based on the song _**I Hate Seagulls**_, therefore the title. :P All kudos to Kate for the title. I Love the song 'cause it fabulously romantic. Lol

This piece is a small treat for my readers of _To The Edge of The Earth_ and will be easier to understand once you have read that one since many words and characters can be found and explained in that story.

Hope you enjoy and if you want to read more about Sinniralin and Leliana go check out my story _**To The Edge of The Earth**_.

~Elmjuniper

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**I HATE SEAGULLS**

THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS Sinniralin disliked. Sitting on the docks in Denerim she stared out at the vast Amaranthine Ocean, fiddling her charm absentmindedly. Somewhere ahead of her lay Alamar and the rolling waves of the ocean reminded her of the time she and Belkin travelled the Waking Sea from Highever to Val Royeaux. It took them nearly a week to travel with the small river boat. Belkin had revelled in the feeling of the salty breeze in his face, taking deep breaths through his nostrils as he squinted with his eyes and smiled at Sinniralin, laughing as he saw her contorted face. Not even when she had been pregnant had she been feeling such nausea. No, she definitely did not like boats. Not only did they rock and make your whole world spin in an unpleasant sort of rocking, boats were also always surrounded by those shrieking seagulls.

Oh, she strongly disliked them. They were featherclad little thugs waiting to pick your eyes out for a small meal or steal whatever glittery, and shiny objects you could carry. Those stupid creatures probably thought it was fish. And could they not steal them they would declare their apparent hatred for humankind by dropping little stinking, white, and sticky bombs wherever they saw fit. Dodging seagulls at the same time as she was being sick was _not _her idea of freedom and fun.

She hated being sick. It was the worst thing she knew. She cringed at the thought of how the muscles in ones stomach convulsed, forcing her to open her mouth and just be out with it. Yuk. She shrugged in disgust. She let her eyes wander across the dirty edge of the docks coming to a rest at a tall, ash-blonde man with a thick, finely trimmed moustache. _Poncey!_ She snorted as she studied him. He was bantering with an older woman trying to lower the price of fish with only two silvers. By the looks of him two silvers was nothing, but judging by the desperate look on the old woman's face and her ragged old clothes, two silvers was a good amount of money to lose. _Stingy bastard!_

She didn't like the stingy nobles with their narrowed minds and arrogant attitude. In a way they reminded her of darkspawns, the same corrupted minds. She huffed. She strongly disliked those darkspawns as well. They were such a pestilence! Always lurking around some corner making their journey just that extra bit harder and she had no patience for it, she had other things she wanted to accomplish and the darkspawn only slowed her down.

She wanted Arl Rendon Howe dead, the Arl who had slaughtered the Cousland's family. Deanna Cousland was her friend, and she could not bear the heart wrenching, muffled sobs she could hear coming from the warden's tent some nights. She had _never _liked Arl Howe, he was a wretched little man and he always reminded her of a rat, and she had been right about him all along. She always used to say to Deanna how they should be weary of him. Deanna had laughed and said she was being paranoid. In retrospect she had been well within her rights to be paranoid about him.

Trying not to think of it she diverted her thoughts to other things she disliked. _Children._ She thought. She didn't particularly like children at all – in fact she disliked them very much. Glub used to tease her about this wondering what she would do when Nimue was old enough to not settle with the Guilders for company. She tried to explain to him that she could not love her daughter any more than what she did, that words could not fully express how her chest felt as if it would burst from the strong motherly, and amiable feelings and emotions she held for her daughter, but that when it came to other kids... well she just did not have that sort of connection to them. Perhaps it was weird. Sinniralin however did not care the slightest.

She snickered as she tried thinking up more things she didn't like. Rats, men with hairy chests, women with a whole forest in that place where no shrubbery should be allowed, dust behind her pillow, soaking, wet boots, cheese, sour wine, snobbery, being told what to do, romantic dalliance, finding Alistair's socks near her bedroll, finding Alistair's socks near her backpack, finding Alistair's socks near her plate of food, finding Alistair's socks anywhere! That Alistair was a dirty little mongrel, he was. She didn't like how he was so endearing in everyone's eyes, to her he was just whiny and annoying. Perhaps he would grow on her. She highly doubted it, but miracles could happen, no?

She shook her head leaning into the wooden boxes where she sat and closed her eyes enjoying the early morning sun when she heard the low thudding of leather boots against the wooden docks. Opening one eye she saw two light-brown leather boots laced from the toes all the way up to the top stand in front of her. _Huh?_

Looking up she stared into the redheaded bard's curious, blue, glittering eyes. Much to her dismay she found a smile tug at the corner of her mouth, her chest filling with a slight tingle and she waved once in a shy greeting.

"You are enjoying the sun I see." The bard stated smiling charmingly.

"So it seems." Sinniralin agreed placing her hand above her eyebrows to shelter her eyes from the sun's blinding rays as she looked up at the bard hovering above her.

"I must say it's surprising to see." Leliana teased.

Sinniralin couldn't help but laugh. "I know I'm pale, but it's not because of lack of sun."

"I _know._ I was teasing." Leliana said in that honey sweet, silky voice of hers as she sat down next to the seductress.

"Where are the others?" She inquired.

"Why, scared of being alone with little old me?" The bard said seductively.

Sinniralin turned to face the bard, cocking her eyebrow. "Well, well, aren't you quite the flirt?"

The bard blushed slightly or so she pretended to do at least.

"Oh don't try that coy look with me _sister_. " Sinniralin scoffed.

The bard tried to look indignant. "I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about. What are you doing here anyway?" The bard inquired.

"_I'm _playing my favourite game, what are _you _doing here?"

"I'm playing my favourite elf." The bard said and gave her a sultry look. "Now teach me your game and I shall teach you mine."

Sinniralin tilted her head wearing a grin. "Really now? Very well, as you wish milady. It's simple though. All you have to do is say 'I hate' and then what it is you hate."

"This is your favourite game?" The bard looked puzzled.

Ignoring her Sinniralin went on. "For example I say... I hate cold winter mornings."

"No!" The bard gasped in utter disbelief. "But those are the mornings you snuggle up underneath the warm bedcovers with your lover." She said looking dreamy.

Sinniralin scoffed. "Yes, whatever, and then _you_ say..."

"But I don't hate anything." The bard said matter-of-factly.

"You must hate _something_."

"Uh-uh." She shook her head vigorously.

"Smelly people."

"No."

"Stupid people."

"Nope."

"_Murderers!_"

"I don't hate them I pity them." The bard held her ground.

"Ants?"

"But they're so cute." The bard squinted her eyes in an adorable smile.

Sinniralin shrugged her head. "You're very... _special_, you know."

"Really? You think so?" The bard shone up.

"Yes, you're like... like nymph root and dwarven ale baked into one happy cookie." Sinniralin said as she studied the bard. _A gorgeous one at that._ She thought to herself as her eyes trailed the bard's lovely body.

Leliana huffed, but did however notice the seductress undressing her with her eyes. "I know a better game." She said looking sly as she moved closer to the seductress.

"Ah, am I going to like it?" Sinniralin asked feigning bashfulness.

The bard chuckled throatily. Sinniralin had started to like the way her lips moved slightly as the bard chuckled. "You'll just have to wait and see." The bard answered secretively.

The bard placed her hand in Sinniralin's turning to face the vast ocean, leaning back against the wooden boxes. "I like holding your hand." She mumbled as she closed her eyes.

Sinniralin felt her heart race, thumping wildly. "What? I... uh..." She stuttered.

"Yes?" The bard asked innocently before adding. "It is your turn you know."

Sinniralin fought to find the right words as she tried to fathom that the pretty bard was holding her hand, and liking it. "I uh... like... hanging out with you..?"

The bard scoffed. "You're no good at this game. I like it when you laugh. You always laugh. I don't know how you can do that amidst all this darkness."

Sinniralin laughed in spite of herself. "I like it when you pretend to be mad at me."

"I'm _not _pretending." The bard muttered. "Though we are making progress I see." She said smiling, still relaxing into the boxes, her eyes shut. "I like your eyes."

"They don't creep you out?"

"No. Your turn." The bard seemed to be soaking up the sun. Not strange though since they'd spent most of their time roaming through the dark forests of Ferelden.

"I like your... hair. It's so... red." Sinniralin said.

The bard giggled heartily. "You are so cute. I like they way you look at me sometimes."

It was Sinniralin's turn to blush. "I... like your singing..."

"Let's turn it up a notch. Obviously subtlety is not your thing."

"I like it straight forward."

"Well, well, my dear seductress, now we're talking." The bard purred.

"Like that, did you now?" The seductress chuckled secretly enjoying the feel of the bard's soft hand in her own. It felt like... No, she wouldn't say it.

"Very much so, I like a woman who knows what she wants."

"Ha! I like how you pretend to drop things just so you can pick them up when I'm near." Sinniralin challenged Leliana who looked shocked and flushed.

"I do _not_ pretend!" she defended herself heatedly.

"No? Really? How many things could you possibly drop woman? You're a _rogue_, a bard, you're not supposed to be clumsy." The seductress scrutinized her.

"I am _not _clumsy! How dare you!" Leliana turned to look at her and her voice rose to a high-pitched accusation before launching a lecture about etiquette, being a very good bard 'thank you very much', and then somewhere along the lines the bard lost her.

All Sinniralin could think about was those cherry lips, the cute frown on the bard's face, the angry look in her eyes, and the heavy orlesian accent thickening the more upset she got. Sinniralin laughed.

"Why are you _laughing _at me? It's _not_ funny!" The bard squealed impatiently.

"Why don't you just shut your gob up and get it over with?"

"Of all the..!" The bard was interrupted by the hard tug in her hand pulling her closely to the seductress.

Growing impatient with the bard's games the seductress tugged her hand causing the bard's body to edge closer to her own. Barely an inch away from her she studied the orlesian's surprised eyes before her lips descended on the orlesian's sweet, plump lips. The kiss was chaste to begin with and Leliana stiffened slightly in surprise before returning the kiss with passion, wrapping her arms around the seductress neck. Sinniralin put her arms around the bard's waist pulling her closer, feeling her warm skin next to hers, revelling in the feeling the bard's skilful tongue and lips caused her she tugged at the bard's leather.

The bard giggled sweetly into her mouth before breaking the kiss. "You do not propose undressing me on a dock full of by passers I hope."

Sinniralin growled in frustration. "I suppose not..."

The bard leaned in and kissed her once more, pressing her breasts close to Sinniralin's body moaning seductively into her kisses before whispering huskily. "Well then, we better make haste before the others start wondering where we have gone to. I hear there is an empty ship with a king-size bed nearby, its owner busying herself in the Pearl..."

**THE END**


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